Free Fallin'

Since my mom died, I've been really struggling with finding my way back into the fitness realm. My heart heart has desired it so, but my mind has held me hostage and prevented me from truly moving forward. Yeah, I lifted with D.F.C. a couple of times and really enjoyed it but lacked the drive to stay consistent. The drive, the weather, having to meet other obligations have been my excuses. Well, I'm done making those.
The truth is I have felt like I'm in a very bad dream and I can't wake up. I felt like I'm free falling with very little control and even less desire. Chistmas, was so very hard. First one without my mom and she LOVED Christmas! I don't  celebrate the Holiday but my family does and therefore I'm in the mix of the celebrations. I woke up already thinking that Monday (Dec.26) was going to be it. I was not going to allow myself to continue down the path of destruction that I was on. I was going to get back to the things that I enjoy...love.
The day before my mom's funeral, daughter Brandi gave me a Pandora bracelet with two charms; a heart that says mom and an angel wing. On Christmas, she gave me another charm that immediately solidified my next steps and sent a surge of motivation through my soul. The message read, "Sometimes you've gotta fall before you fly." Yesterday, Monday morning, I jogged for the first time in months. Although it was hard, I felt good. I ate properly and drank more water than I have in a while.

Although I know I have a way to go before I'm back in my FitZone, I feel better today about my mindset and motivation. Fitness is a total mindgame. If your head is not in it, you don't do well. I'm reclaiming my FitMind, FitSpirit, FitBody, and my freaking inner beast!

Right now, I'm working on just being consistent and getting my cardio up. I'm aiming to be with D.F.C. 2-3 days weekly, but will commit to working out daily for the next 89 days. I have to recreate my foundation. I'm also handling some D.F.C. business that will take up some of my time but fitness is my primary drive.

I have about 50lbs to lose so I have to really stay to focused. I'll keep you posted.
~me