Free Fallin'

Since my mom died, I've been really struggling with finding my way back into the fitness realm. My heart heart has desired it so, but my mind has held me hostage and prevented me from truly moving forward. Yeah, I lifted with D.F.C. a couple of times and really enjoyed it but lacked the drive to stay consistent. The drive, the weather, having to meet other obligations have been my excuses. Well, I'm done making those.
The truth is I have felt like I'm in a very bad dream and I can't wake up. I felt like I'm free falling with very little control and even less desire. Chistmas, was so very hard. First one without my mom and she LOVED Christmas! I don't  celebrate the Holiday but my family does and therefore I'm in the mix of the celebrations. I woke up already thinking that Monday (Dec.26) was going to be it. I was not going to allow myself to continue down the path of destruction that I was on. I was going to get back to the things that I enjoy...love.
The day before my mom's funeral, daughter Brandi gave me a Pandora bracelet with two charms; a heart that says mom and an angel wing. On Christmas, she gave me another charm that immediately solidified my next steps and sent a surge of motivation through my soul. The message read, "Sometimes you've gotta fall before you fly." Yesterday, Monday morning, I jogged for the first time in months. Although it was hard, I felt good. I ate properly and drank more water than I have in a while.

Although I know I have a way to go before I'm back in my FitZone, I feel better today about my mindset and motivation. Fitness is a total mindgame. If your head is not in it, you don't do well. I'm reclaiming my FitMind, FitSpirit, FitBody, and my freaking inner beast!

Right now, I'm working on just being consistent and getting my cardio up. I'm aiming to be with D.F.C. 2-3 days weekly, but will commit to working out daily for the next 89 days. I have to recreate my foundation. I'm also handling some D.F.C. business that will take up some of my time but fitness is my primary drive.

I have about 50lbs to lose so I have to really stay to focused. I'll keep you posted.
~me

The Good Ol' Days

I start this post around 5:30am as I soak in a tub full of hot water, Epsom salt, and a variety of essential oils to help facilitate my ability to walk today. It wouldn't be so bad if  leg day was not upon me again, but it is and I intend to participate fully.

This will be day 2 with D.F.C. and again, I'm excited. I think part of me is just happy to have broken the stagnant stage of doing nothing to doing something and the other part of me is excited because I love the people I train with. The internal push hasn't changed. When they see you struggling, they help you push through. For me, right about now that is key. There was a time not too long ago in which all I needed was my music banging in my headphones and a goal. It didn't really matter who though what, or who supported...I was my own motivation.  Not so much these days. My decreased abilities due to my long separation from any physical activity has me feeling like a true newbie. I hate that term.

How I long for the good ol' days (which was actually about 7 months ago-lol). But still, my drive was ridiculous, there was nothing that I could not or would not attempt, I had a ton of endurance, and I was strong as hell! I truly miss those times and I have a ton of WORK!!! to do to recapture them. 

As I see it, I have to re-establish a few things:

1. Balance- I noticed that my overall balance has taken a few steps backwards so, during my down time I will be working on balance and stability. 

2. Pace- To rush through a set is not allowing your targeted muscle groups the full benefit of the movement. I found myself trying to rush through the set versus taking additional time to really hit what I'm trying to hit. 

3. Focus- I have to find a way to focus on the task at hand. My mind tends to wander which negatively impacts my breathing and overall concentration on what I'm doing. This also has an impact on my pace.

4. Fun- Although I LOVE lifting and fitness, at this stage it is truly hard WORK!!! and therefore not as much fun as I know it can be. So, I have to chill on pressuring myself just have some fun with it. 

Overall, reclaiming what is mine is ultimately up to me. I will get there. I can see it, which makes it possible and I believe it and therefore it's done (R. Kelly is in there somewhere-lol)! So, I be patient with myself and fight to make my way back to this good ol' days... In fact, I intend to be better than I was then! Turn my old highs in fitness upside down and create a smarter, leaner, and stronger version of me (wink, wink)! It's never to late to re-invent yourself. 

-me

Grief, Shame, Love, & JOURNEY REIGNIGHTED

A There is a lot to be said about grief. It has a way of breaking you down to levels you never knew existed. It will have you put all the things and people you love, far in the background. I LOVE FITNESS!!! I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT BEING FIT!!! I LOVE THE PEOPLE, THE PAIN, THE CHALLENGES, THE GAINS, AND THE GLORY!!! But grief has kept me away from all that for quite some time. As a result; I've gained 55lbs, have developed insomnia, and have used my asthma pump more in the ladt 2 months than I have since I was 17.

Once you have been out of the fitness loop and the habits of healthy eating and working out everyday are replaced with eating whatever and not leaving the house...there are consequences. Over the last 6 months, There was not a day that went by that I didn't think about being in the gym, but I had other priorities and responsibilities. Over the last 6 weeks, there was nothing stopping me from getting to the gym, except grief. 

Within the last month, I have been asked "when are you coming back?" I always knew I would return but I didn't want to return until I got my cardio up and shed a few pounds. I was now letting some keep me from the people and things that I love. Shame is something different than grief. Something that I have very little experience with because I try to do the right things all the time; no matter what. So on last Friday, I received a call from 3rèFit. He ended up sharing some things with me that had me  crying like a baby; although I know that was not his intention. By the end of that conversation I felt confident to return on Monday (yesterday). 

A workout that I would have killed in the past kicked every inch of my a$$! BUT I STILL LOVE IT! Being back in the gym felt GREAT! Being back with the CREW was AMAZING! Getting through that first workout was LIBERATING. 

Grief is something that one experiences when they lose someone or something that is important to them. After the loss, the love that you have for that person doesn't end, but the are no longer around for you to show them that love. The love has no immediate way to be channeled and grief sets in. For me, I had to make a decision to channel that grief/love in a way that would honor my mom and help me to get back to living life. I still cry, have some anger, and miss my mom in ways no one will ever understand. However, all that LOVE will be channeled in ways that will help me resume the awesome life and people that I have been blessed with. I'm almost positive my mom would approve.

So, I reignite my journey. Haha, JOURNEY REIGNITED. 

~Kim

WELL ROUNDED!!!

Over the last month I have been forced to be creative with my gym time, as it has been limited. I have still been following the D.F.C. training schedule and  have also added some other things. Today, I was taught how to play racquetball and I have to say it is challenging but that cardio is so valuable. My focus has really always been endurance and strength. I want to be able to lift (light or heavy, but I LOVE heavy) and also be able to engage in other sports and activities without getting winded (running, boxing, biking, stairs...). I know so many people that do so many different things and depending when they ask me if I want to go do this or that, I want to be able to say sure! I don't want to turn down opportunities to do something new because I feel I may get winded or slow someone else down. I want to be confident that I can keep up no matter what the activity is. WELL ROUNDED. I have always said that. I want to be a well rounded athlete.

Now, don't get me wrong. I do know that when you are in the process of training for something specific, that THING needs your undivided attention. For example, should I ever decide to do a deadlifting competition; deadlifting is what I will be focusing on 80% of the time. Since I am not in training for anything, then I'm going to be dabbling in a bit of everything. Anything except winter sports (when the season comes; I HATE the cold).

This upcoming week I will be heading to Palos Heights to climb stairs and run the trails. I have a few people that are planning on coming with me but when the time comes we will see who actually shows up. The stairs are steep and brutal but provide a ridiculous workout. People of all fitness levels tackle these things and everyone there truly understands the struggle (with the stairs that is). If you are ever in the Palos Heights, Illinois area; DON'T PASS UP THIS FITCHALLENGE!!! :-)

There is one last thing that I want to do before the weather turns bad and that's rock climb. I think I would like to start out with a gigantic rock climbing wall, then hit a very short mountain somewhere to climb. I mean a VERY SHORT one. I really like hiking as well but I hate the bugs, however I'm going to have to overlook that aspect of it and just get out there. I am learning to embrace the outdoors as it has a tendency to challenge the body a bit. Especially if what you are doing is new to you. That's when you start to see progress. That also happens in the gym as well that is why it is recommended that you change your workout program every 4-6 weeks. Once your body becomes efficient at doing something, if you don't change it up or increase the intensity progress slows and eventually stops. However, efficiency is a beautiful thing.

Between weight lifting and involving myself in other activities when possible, I feel that I will soon be back on the fat loss track. My diet is on point and I'm drinking a little over a gallon of water a day. I love being in the gym and will keep my current lifting schedule but will also be adding some things that my body is not used to. Hopefully I can avoid the dreaded plateaus and increase my overall endurance and health. Most importantly, I want to make sure that I'm having fun while I'm doing it! I'll keep you posted!
~me

MO*TI*V8

When I first started this blog, it was simply for me to put my fitness journey out there in cyperworld as a way to hold myself accountable in following through with my fitness goals. There was also a secondary drive; to MOTIVATE. Yes, myself as well as others. I know from years of yo-yo'ing up and down in weight that it's really hard to stay motivated enough to reach your goals. Some times, even when you are reaching your goals, the time it has taken to reach that milestone seems never ending. I am so impatient and we all want to see result sooner than later but sometimes; it takes time. Time is what you have to allow yourself for MOTIVATION to remain intact. I'm hoping that this blog reaches those who really need the motivation and encouragement to continue their fitness fight. I remember when I was the only one reading my blog, and now I get hundreds of views a day from individuals all over the world; this is my motivation. So I beg of you, no matter how far your goal seems each day you get closer to reaching it; don't stop! 

There are endless reasons as to why I yo-yo'd in weight for so many years. We all have our triggers and those triggers can keep you trapped in a vicious cycle. Food has never been my problem, but sweets on the other hand... lol! And when you first start your journey, you will likely have days in which you just have to have that burger or that candy bar and that's okay. However... after you indulge, you have to get right back on track and keep moving forward. You can't quit! Being in the gym is something I have always loved, so one I got a handle on my diet I saw changes. Even when I slipped, if I got right back on track with the diet I saw results. Never let that guilt keep you in the "what's the point" cycle. Get back on track and keep trying!

 If you workout more than you don't workout and you eat healthy more than you eat unhealthy; you will see results. However, once your body adjusts, then so should your habits. Consistency is key. If you are consistently eating clean (with a cheat day here and there) and you are consistent with doing hard WORK!!! in the gym, then you will see results. When you are consistent in the things you do in life, you will end up being successful at doing THAT thing (be it good or bad). In the case of us trying to get fit and stay fit, consistency is not an option. It's required. Stay on corse 90%of the time and you will win!

After you have achieved some really amazing goals, you start to get confident. Not only in yourself but in your abilities to set new, more ambitious goals; and that's great! As long as you are moving onward and upward you are likely to stay engaged and motivated. However, when you start getting comfortable with your accomplishments, you leave room for complacency to creep in, which will defeat you EVERY TIME! Never get too comfortable with your results because it took you hard WORK!!! to get there but believe me, it takes a fraction of the time to move in the opposite direction. Remember, keep striving to be better. Do not allow yourself to get comfortable, EVER!

In this fitness pursuit, you have to be head strong. This is your journey and no one can do the WORK!!! for you. No one can make the choices for you. No one can experience the ups and downs for you. No one can do this but you. Therefore, let NO ONE influence your drive and your desire. No matter what, keep going and stay consistent. Life happens and at times there is nothing that we can do about it. We just have to deal with it the best way we can without jeopardizing our journey. Actually, during stressful times, working out can be the best way to cope. But PLEASE, NEVER let ANYTHING or ANYONE get in the way of your success. NEVER! 

Even when you have done all this work, there is still a ton of work to be done. You have to continue attacking your journey in the manner that helped you get to where you are. You have to pump yourself up and know that you can continue improving. Walk into the gym as if you own it. You have to approach your workout as if it is an actual entity testing your abilities. Kill it! Some may call you arrogant but as long as you know the place and time; so be it. It's okay to rule the WORK!!! Fear CANNOT exist. Fear is your enemy. Conquer it and you will come out on top!

However, after you slay the workout... go back to being you. Be kind, Be helpful, DO NO HARM, and attempt to make someone else's day better.  Be SELFLESS. There's a little hippie in us all. Well, at least there should be. :-)
~me

SAC*RI*FICE

So, I've been focusing on weight lifting over the last 8 months and I have to say that I am completely satisfied with what I have accomplished. I actually attained my 315lb deadlift goal a couple of times and I've got 405lbs on my "to do" list.

I will continue lifting most days of the week because I LOVE it and I truly believe that it is essential to me achieving my overall fitness goals. I like being able to lift heavier than most girls (and some guys) and I LOVE and miss lifting with the squad (D.F.C.), however I have to add some other elements to my regimen. Boxing training is one of them.

The period in which I was boxing and training boxers is when I had the best overall endurance and shred the most body fat. I didn't experience the body aches and injuries and I've always said that I want to be well-rounded when it comes to fitness. I want to be able to run 5-10 miles, lift heavy, bike, swim, and spar with my boxers for 8-10; 3 minute rounds if I so desire. So, boxing training with Jerome Brantley will commence on July 1st. Meagan Maupin, I invite you to come stay with me any weekend (or every weekend for that matter) in the month of July!

I will start out with boxing only on the days that I'm not scheduled to lift. That will likely mean working out every day for the month of July (my earthday month)! That will be the challenge for myself.

Right now, my cardio sucks! I HATE that I've been lax with that and so I have to change it. I've already added swimming to either the beginning of my workouts or to the ends of my workouts and I will continue that. Not only is it relaxing, it engages your entire body. 

I have never really stopped lifting heavy. I will probably scale back on the weight just a lil' bit but will test my 1 Rep Max at least 2-3 times monthly.

The running comes with the boxing training. Hitting the pavement early morning is NOT optional when conditioning. Running outdoors, running hills, and HIIT are the things that help you to be able to box those rounds without your lungs jumping out of your mouth. Even though for the first 2 weeks it will feel like that anyways. LOL!

I see biking as something I can do either for leisure or for fitness. I feel that I am in decent enough shape to hit the bike trails and survive.

At this very moment, I would likely DIE if I had to box a 3 min. round. I usually shadow box in the sauna to warm up before a workout to get a good sweat going but I don't do nearly as much as have been able to do in the past. I am looking forward to hitting the speed back and the pads though. I think those are my two favorite things to do. I do like sparring but I have only sparred with Jerome and he gets me to laughing which makes me weak and then he beats me 'bout the head. LOL! It's all good though, I'm hoping to be more focused this time around.  Haha!

Now, I sit here and I plan all this out and I will likely be able to carry my plans through as long as I make that 4am wake up call. However, my days and time are not my own these days and that's okay. There are people that need me right now and there is NO ONE OR NO THING more important to me than them. So, until I return to train with D.F.C.,  I will plan for my workouts to start between 4:30 and 5am and end about 8am. On days I am able to train with the crew, I won't do an early morning workout. It's called sacrifice and I am willing to sacrifice nearly anything for the people I love.

You know I'll keep you posted on how things are going! If any of you are interested in joining me for the early morning boxing grind 3 days a week, just let me know!

~me

Keep It Movin'!!!

My workouts over the last week have been killer! After doing back yesterday, this morning I laid in bed scared to move in fear of the pain...but to my surprise it wasn't as bad as I imagined. It's bad!!! But just not bad enough for me to succumb to a rest day. Actually, keeping the body moving is the best cure for soreness and pain. 

DOMS- Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness 

Up until about 2 months ago, it would take 2 days for me to feel the effects of a workout. That is no longer the case. I start feeling the soreness the very next day. The soreness let's you know that the WORK!!! you put in, in the gym was properly applied. I should be careful about using soreness and pain interchangeably as they ARE different. Pain is gonna make you want to go to the ER, soreness is gonna make you wanna skip your next workout (but you shouldn't do that)! Lol! 

Not so long ago, when I completed a back day I would feel a ton of soreness in my entire back. However, with this last injury I knew what I was feeling was not my average back pain and the ER is where I landed. So, as you continue in your journey you will learn your body and what's Norman vs what's not.

Now, there are times in which I will fight through some pain without going to the ER. Leg days, for whatever reason, has been triggering some serious PAIN lately. I mean it makes me want to go to the ER but I know that would be a waste. After my leg day, I literally dread walking, going down stairs, going to the bathroom, and going to sleep (because upon waking the PAIN is worse)! My quads have recently rejected me and I'm not liking it. As I am typing this, I'm still sore from my leg day that happened on Wednesday! Leg day will be coming back around and I'm not ready! 

It may sound like I'm complaining but I'm not! I LOVE the SORENESS and the PAIN! I LOVE the challenge that the gym brings and I LOVE feeling the effectiveness of my workouts that manifest as soreness and occasionally pain. I LOVE being in the gym! I LOVE the experiencing and witnessing of gains! I LOVE everything about the pursuit of fitness. 

I LOVE it so much that I'm on my way to the gym right now to WORK!!! through some of this pain to be able to add some more. As they say say...

~me 

Self-Hate...

No matter what you do in life and no matter where you go, you are going to come across individuals that get an internal kick out of doing harm. In the FitGame, you will have those that pat you on the back while secretly praying for your demise. 

I personally am everyone's cheerleader! I LOVE to see people succeed in anything they are passionate about. It brings me great joy to witness and or share in what excites or motivates others even if it's not my thing! Everyone deserves happiness! Everyone deserves to have others believe in them! Everyone deserves to feel loved and cared for. 

Now, that doesn't mean that everyone you come across is gonna love ya! Lol! Shoot, I'm probably the sweetest and most giving person you will EVER meet and people do me bogus, talk about me, mistake my kindness for weakness and hate all day!  But you know what!? THAT IS MY MOTIVATION!!! I stop, look around, and see who's clapping when I'm down and who's silent when I get my ass back up! I may not say a word, but believe me; I know! There are vibrations in everything and I am in tune!!!

Why can't we just support each other?  I love a little competition and won't EVER back down, EVER! I personally know chicks that lift way heavier than me and I brag about them all the time!!! There is ALWAYS going to be someone that's better!!! Why can't people just accept and embrace that and cheer that better person on!?!? 

It's called SELF-hate! 

When one is not okay with themselves, they will ALWAYS have difficulties with others. They will always highlight the flaws of others, talk about others, focus on what others are or are not doing, and all to keep from focusing on themselves (where the true focus should be). They will attempt to get others to dislike someone based on their irrational, self-defeated thinking. 

The world would be a better place if these individuals looked long, hard, and deeply within. But what do I know!?!? Lol! 

The point of this post is to bring awareness to what many experience while trying to better themselves (unnecessary hate) and to challenge each of you to take a look at yourselves. When you speak, let it be about yourself and not about anyone else especially if it's negative. Challenge your negative thoughts about others that surface. Make it a point to be supportive of your competition as they are working just as hard as you if not harder! It's okay to acknowledge hard work! Be kind and do no harm! 

As leaders we have to do better at setting examples! We wonder why the world is the way it is. The change we want to see in the world has to starts with us! 

So for anyone that feels I have wronged them in any way, I sincerely apologize. I invite you to discuss our interactions in person, with nothing but love, respect, and the the goal of being better human beings. 

If while reading this post, your gutt twinged in any way, or you immediately dismissed the fact that you could be a problem before doing that scan inward, or if you automatically assume this was directed at you... Then this post landed exactly before the eyes in which it was intended. Reasonable, stable, open minded, sane adults don't fear exploring themselves at a DEEP level. Nor do they fear loving, giving, or being kind to others or what they look like while doing those things. 

I wish each and every one of you peace, love, and beauty within this short life. Don't assume you will live to be 80, because most of us won't. Live and interact with the world and others as if today is the last day you will exist. Treat others as if you will never see them again, because you just may not.

BE A GOOD HUMAN! 

DO GOOD FOR OTHERS! 

DO HARM TO NOONE! 

The world thanks you!

~me